Get ur Life Back

"I am Sorry" , not to others, but to yourself.

2011-09-07T06:55:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been in that situation, where you lost total confidence of yourself, you start putting on a mask and wish no one can ever guess what you are really thinking in your mind, or feeling in your heart?

It is a state of inferior complex due to whatever had happened from past experience, or maybe a few incidents that caused every single part of you to feel degenerated. The key word here is to "feel" degenerated. Feeling does not equal to being so, it's just a state of mind that requires fine-tuning, and having the courage to reach out once again for the stars.

White lies, stories and cover up is what a weak person will use to come across, seemingly way stronger than others, to hide their weakness and hide their lack of courage. It could be a sense of dis-belief in oneself, or maybe a temporary loss of hope in him/herself.

This article is all about coming face to face with the person you see when you stand in front of the mirror every morning, instead of putting on that different masks every morning, every hour of the day, it's time to stay true, minimally, to yourself. Yes you, the one you see in the mirror. =)

The three words, "I am sorry" is not the easiest words to utter or say out of a person's mouth. Learn how to say, "I am sorry" to myself for all the hurt and trauma you have caused to yourself, instead of saying sorry to the person you seemingly hurt. Be truly sorry to yourself. Being sorry to yourself, is not the same as self pity, nor the same as being sorry for yourself. It's a simple three words to say to yourself that you know you have faulted and hurt yourself, and it's time to accept and move on.

Being through a stage of self-frustration will definitely follow. A million questions "why".. all these would not matter at all, because knowing the answers to whys, will only cause the wound to be deepen, thus it will definitely be harder to recover. Learn how to walk away from asking why, learn to accept that things are this way, because of mistakes that human makes, all human makes mistakes right?

Saying "I am sorry" to yourself, helps you to release that guiltiness you feel towards everyone, and release the remorseful pain buried in your heart.

It will definitely take quite a while in order to stop thinking, and stop getting troubled by the tons of questions that has been haunting you, but remember, if you don't start doing so, you will just be stepping on the same spot, jogging on it.. running on it. It ain't healthy.

Human errs, people who does not forgive people who makes mistakes will never learn how to forgive themselves too. Knowing how to say sorry to yourself, will aid you in forgiving that one person who have caused you pain/damages.

Live on, it's all about getting there.

Stalking & Self-Deception

2009-08-05T18:05:00.000-07:00

It has been a little while since my last post, took a little break from GULB due to work and my personal activities, but I am back with my bits of lovin' and this article will concentrate on how Self-deception leads to Stalking.

Definition please:
Stalking is a term used to describe unwanted attention by individuals (and sometimes groups of people) to others.

Why Stalking & Self-Deception? or how do Self-deception leads to stalking?

Remember the last time you updated yourself daily or even hourly with information of your ex boyfriend/girlfriend by referring to their blogs, Facebook, Friendster, Twitter etc. If you remember that you are doing it too often, this is commonly referred to a behavior, which is “Internet Stalking”. This behavior is definitely common in nowadays as the information are always readily available over the World Wide Net, and it is a temptation that is hard to resist, you want to know what is going on, you want to know whether they have moved on, whether they are still thinking about you, all these information will cause you to be emotionally insecure and unstable for a while or maybe a long while. I would want to voice out on this; this is extremely unhealthy especially if you have just recently broken up with the person you are “I-stalking”.

Why did I link the word Self-deception to stalking?

This is a true encounter that made me realize the above question, the notion of self-deception leading to stalking.

She self blamed herself for being a burden, she was afraid of being a burden, thus she decided to let go of a relationship, her first love. After that, she hopes to be a good friend to him, read his blog every single day, wanted to know what was going on in his life, wanted to still feel connected to him -> “I-stalking”.. She knew it was wrong, because shortly after the break-up, she got into another relationship.

Self deceiving herself, she allowed herself to indulge in intimacy with her boyfriend then, indulge in the love care and concern that her boyfriend was providing for her, but in her heart, she is lying to herself, because she was still deeply in love, with her first love, who she was still trying hard to relate to every single minute and day of her life.

After a year of self-denial and self deceiving, she finally decided to let go of the one who was true to her, blamed him for his lack of concern and care, and she pluck up her courage, to look him up (her first love) after 1 year of “I-stalking”. Rejection came… she realize that she can get neither of both guys back anymore, she fell into a depression.

Do we call this “greed” or human nature who believes that they always deserve something better; when what they are already getting is already enough to satisfy their emotional appetite? This brings us back to the point that I always emphasize on, to be contented with what you have.

Shortly after realizing that it could be easier to get the 2nd guy instead of her first love back, she decided to intensively “i-stalk” the 2nd guy, while constantly stalking her first love. Her life revolved around the latest happening of what is happening to the 2 guys who was once part of her life. She got aggressive, she began to hurl abuses at the girls who got close to them, and bad mouth them, feeling that they weren’t worthy. She got upset, and wanted to know whether do any one of these two guys actually miss her, she lived in self-denial and refuse to admit the fact that, they have moved on, leaving her beside, stepping in the same spot, blaming herself all the time for the failure of the relationships that she was holding dearly in her heart.

Was it loneliness that made her feel this way? Or was her inferior complex acting up? Or did she did all these, just wanting to feel wanted?

Either ways, I feel sorry for her and I sincerely hope that she can move on well in life, even though I really despise the fact that she allows herself to be betray her own body, soul and mind. I pray that the next rain, will cleanse your soul and your weary mind, to help you to think clearer of what you want in your life.

My advice:

Self-deception is never healthy, NEVER. Please do not let loneliness drive you to doing things that will eventually hurt yourself, be it physically or emotionally. Get over the previous relationship before getting into a new one, because you do realize the fact that, you might end up hurting all three parties. Stay single for a while, break away from all the information feed over the internet, and move on. Refer to my article: “Coping with Pain”.

For those who are in the above scenario and require personal self advices, remember geturlifeback@gmail.com is always here to help you heal the broken soul of yours, to help you get your life back.

Toy Soldiers

2009-06-11T00:33:00.001-07:00

This post will be repeated both here and at GULB's blog. -> www.geturlifeback.blogspot.com

Yesterday on the way home... and one of the songs that used to be my favourite a long long time ago was playing over the radio...

The thing about me, is I will get attracted to a song, because of the lyrics, and the meaning and feelings that the singer is trying to convey through her voice, through the lyrical sound...

Bringing to you the lyrics of the song, Toy Soldiers by Martika
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uKQMTXt9hw

It wasn't my intention to mislead you
It never should have been this way
What can I say
It's true, I did extend the invitation
I never knew how long you'd stay

When you hear temptation call
It's your heart that takes, takes the fall
(Won't you come out and play with me)

(Chorus)
Step by step
Heart to heart
Left, right, left
We all fall down
Like toy soldiers

Bit by bit
Torn apart
We never win
But the battle wages on
For Toy soldiers

It's getting hard to wake up in the morning
My head is spinning constantly
How can it be?
How could I be so blind to this addiction?
If I don't stop, the next one's gonna be me
Only emptiness remains
It replaces all, all the pain
(Won't you come out and play with me)

My interpretation of this song if i were the singer:

This love was a forbidden love, a love that i should not have tried for, neither should i fight for it.
I did, and i really wanted it, and i know, that it is not going to last, but i still want it, because, just the little bit of comfort, might be enough, for me to last this lifetime.

I know, that I am a temptation to you, it could have not be me, and someone else could be a temptation... but is it because you are just too weak? or because the love between you and her... the bond that you claimed, you sure it's strong? Because, it's all in the heart... emotions runs like blood in your body...

If we carry on, yes.. we will just all fall down, get torn apart, get hurt like toy soldiers. we might end up emotionaless... without strength or will to carry on, because we are nothing, we are lifeless.

You are just like an addiction, i just cannot get enough, i just keep wanting more, even though i know that.. one day, I will just be the one, who will be left in a pool of blood.. and might even probably felt that it was all worth it to suffer from the karma from the bad things that i have done... and yup.. end up lifeless.

This song, is a song that i feel deeply within my heart, because, it will definitely makes someone strengthless to face up to reality, to face the music of whatever cheating, or lying relationships...

You see, temptations are always around, if today you are with someone, and you suddenly do feel for another person as well, there is nothing wrong, this are the chemical reactions in our body, this are real feelings that we do experience some times in life, please do not fault yourself for it.

How do you get over the "double" feeling?

You see, the key about falling for two person, is that you really have to be upright and honest to yourself, who do you really need in your life, who can you forsee in your future. Notice i didn't say, who you want. Because, wants and needs are different. You have to need someone to know the importance.

*key important factor here, i said falling and having feelings for two person at the same time, irregardless of whether you are committed to a relationship/marriage or what nots.. FALLING NOT SLEEPING... see the things why i say falling and not sleeping, because sex, it complicates things. so that will be another topic all together.

So yup, i just wanted to share this song, because all you double hearted people out there, feel the lyrics, feel the song and you will know how much you are hurting both of them when you are thinking about both.

Not everyone can be selfless... yes, like i said, love is never competitive, it should be selfless... but it doesn't mean that selfless people does not feel pain.. we do.. because we are still human. :)

Abandoholism...

2009-03-20T00:52:00.000-07:00

Abandoholism

You’ve heard of food-oholism, work-oholism, shop-oholism and, of course, alcoholism. Now here comes another, most insidious, addictive pattern – aband-oholism. Abandoholism is a tendency to become attracted to unavailable partners. Many abandonment survivors are caught up in this painful pattern. Abandoholism is similar to the other ‘oholisms, but instead of being addicted to a substance, you’re addicted to the emotional drama of heartbreak. You pursue hard-to-get partners to keep the romantic intensity going, and to keep your body’s love-chemicals and stress hormones flowing.
What makes someone an abandoholic?
Abandoholism sets in when you’ve been hurt so many times that you’ve come to equate insecurity with love. Unless you’re pursuing someone you’re insecure about, you don’t feel in love.

Conversely, when someone comes along who wants to be with you, that person’s availability fails to arouse the required level of insecurity. If you can’t feel those yearning, lovesick feelings, then you don’t feel attracted, so you keep pursuing unavailable partners.
You become psychobiologically addicted to the high stakes drama of an emotional challenge and the love-chemicals that go with it. Abandoholism is driven by both fear of abandonment and fear of engulfment.
When you’re attracted to someone, it arouses a fear of losing that person. This fear causes you to become clingy and needy. You try to hide your insecurity, but your desperation shows through, causing your partners to lose romantic interest in you. They sense your emotional suction cups aiming straight toward them and it scares them away.
Fear of engulfment is at the opposite end of the spectrum. It occurs when someone is pursuing you and now you’re the one pulling back. You feel engulfed by that person’s desire to be with you. When fear of engulfment kicks in, you panic. Your feelings shut down. You no longer feel the connection. The panic is about your fear of being engulfed by the other person’s emotional expectations of you. You fear that the other person’s feelings will pressure you to abandon your own romantic needs.

Fear of engulfment is one of the most common causes for the demise of new relationships, but it is carefully disguised in excuses like: "He just doesn’t turn me on." Or "I don’t feel any chemistry." Or "She’s too nice to hold my interest." Or "I need more of a challenge." Abandoholics tend to swing back and forth between fear of abandonment and fear of engulfment. You’re either pursuing hard-to-get-lovers, or you’re feeling turned off by someone who IS interested in you.
What is Abando-phobism?
Abandophobics are so afraid of rejection that they avoid relationships altogether.Abandophobics act out their fear of abandonment by remaining socially isolated, or by appearing to search for someone, when in fact they are pursuing people who are unattainable, all to avoid the risk of getting attached to a real prospect – someone who might abandon them sooner or later. There is a little abandophobism in every abandoholic. For both abandoholics and abandophobics, a negative attraction is more compelling than a positive one.You only feel attracted when you’re in pursuit. You wouldn’t join any club who would have you as a member, so you’re always reaching for someone out of reach.
How do abandoholism and abandophobism set in?

These patterns may have been cast in childhood. You struggled to get more attention from your parents but you were left feeling unfulfilled, which caused you to doubt your self-worth. Over time, you internalized this craving for approval and you learned to idealize others at your own expense. This became a pattern in your love-relationships.Now as an adult, you recreate this scenario by giving your love-partners all of your power, elevating them above yourself, recreating those old familiar yearnings you grew accustomed to as a child. Feeling emotionally deprived and "less-than" is what you’ve come to expect.
Why does the insecurity linger?
Recent scientific research shows that rather than dissipate, fear tends to incubate, gaining intensity over time. Insecurity increases with each romantic rejection, causing you to look to others for something you’ve become too powerless to give yourself: esteem. When you seek acceptance from a withholding partner, you place yourself in a one-down position, recreating the unequal dynamics you had with your parents or peers. You choreograph this scenario over and over.Conversely, you are unable to feel anything when someone freely admires or appreciates you.This abandonment compulsion is insidious. You didn’t know it was developing. Until now you didn’t have a name for it: Abandoholism is a new concept.

Insecurity is an aphrodisiac.
If you are a hard-core abandoholic, you’re drawn to a kind of love that is highly combustible. The hottest sex is when you’re trying to seduce a hard-to-get lover. Insecurity becomes your favorite aphrodisiac. These intoxicated states are produced when you sense emotional danger – the danger of your lover’s propensity to abandon you the minute you get attached. At the other end of the seesaw, you turn off and shut down when you happen to successfully win someone’s love. If your lover succumbs to your charms – heaven forbid – you suddenly feel too comfortable, too sure of him to stay interested. There’s not enough challenge to sustain your sexual energy. You interpret your turn-off as his not being right for you.
How about following your gut?
If you’re an abandoholic, following your gut is probably what got you into these patterns in the first place. Your gut gets you to pursue someone who makes your heart go pitter pat, not because he’s the right one, but because he arouses fear of abandonment. And your gut gets you to avoid someone who is truly trustworthy, because he doesn’t press the right insecurity buttons.Enrich your mind. Follow your wisdom. But until you overcome your abandonment compulsion, don’t follow your gut – it will only get you into trouble

– because your gut tells you that unavailable people are attractive.

Everyone Fights...

2009-03-20T00:42:00.000-07:00

The first article to bring GULB back...

Everyone fights.

A few fightings and disagreements in a marriage or relationship is actually normal and healthy.

But do you know how to handle the quarrel and conflict?
It is key to you keeping your lover by your side and maintaining a LONG LASTING relationship and marriage!
..................................

Arguments happen. Not everyone is going to agree with everyone all of the time, nor should they expect to. But when you're in a relationship, the context of arguments can become very emotional, to a point when you can hurt the other's feelings. But there are ways that you can learn how to handle the situation, so that you both learn from the argument instead of ruin a relationship. The following are the 10 Tips:

#1 Don't Lecture
When you're in an adult relationship, you should treat each other like adults. When one person begins to lecture the other person about what they did wrong, it sets up a power divide that can create animosity and discord. Instead of trying to be 'right,' why not try to talk about what's going on to see how you can fix it?

#2 Don't sweat the small details
When you're in an argument, it's not beneficial to fight about little things that probably won't matter in a few days. Think about something before you bring it up and if you know that you won't ever remember the point in six months, you probably don't even need to mention it. The same rule applies for anything that happened well before the argument - stick to the argument at hand and focus only on those details.

#3 Don't take everything personally
When you're in the heat of an argument, you can become flustered and say things that you might not normally say. Realize that your partner is doing this as well, and that you want to focus on listening for the important stuff that they are saying, and dismissing things that may have been said in the fit of anger.

#4 Try not to yell
When emotions are high and tempers are flared, it's difficult to maintain your composure - especially when your partner is yelling too. But it's vital to your argument (as well as your health) to keep your voice low and calm. This helps to bring a little peace to the argument and will keep both partners from screaming at each other. And when you can actually hear each other, you'll be able to focus on the
real issues in a more mature manner.

#5 Avoid guilt trips
When you're hurt by someone, the first response is to try to hurt them back with some sort of guilt trip. But while this might seem like a good idea, it's actually helping to erode your relationship. You want to talk about the issues at hand and not assign blame to them. When you blame someone for something and try to make them feel guilty, you are saying that you are right and they are wrong - and that's no
way to have an argument that gets settled.

#6 Don't attack them
As tempting as it might be to get in some personal attacks when you're feeling mad, stop for a second to think about how it would make you feel. When you're trying to heal a
relationship bump, you want to focus on the issue at hand,
leaving personal attacks out of it. They're only going to
ruin any progress that you have made.

#7 Focus on one issue at a time
Like some of the previous advice, the best thing you can do is identify the problem that you are having and deal with that issue alone. When you start to talk about multiple issues, you will begin to confuse them and might not fully address them. You want to both figure out what is upsetting you the most, deal with it, and then move onto something else.

#8 Listen
As hard as it might seem to listen during an argument, it can help both of you determine what you need to do. The other person could be quite clearly telling you what they need to fix the problem, but if you're not listening, you're not using the solution that has been presented to you.

#9 Don't leave
Another hard thing to do is stick it out in an argument, but it will make sure that you are finishing what you have started. Even if you feel that you can't take anymore, tell your partner that you have to collect yourself for a moment, but that you will be back to finish the discussion.

#10 Be respectful
When you want the argument to be a learning experience instead of a fight, you will want to show your respect of the other person. Pay attention, ask questions as needed, make eye contact, and be calm. Together, you can work through whatever you are dealing with.

The above article is adopted, written by Dr Love of Love Foundation Pte Ltd.

GULB is officially back! =)

2009-03-17T01:00:00.001-07:00

Dear Readers,

GULB is officially coming back by the end of this week.

Kindly give me some time to organise the next few topics and I am sure that they will be of valuable advice. :)

I hope that i have not keep you all waiting for long.

Email me @ geturlifeback@gmail.com if you need any personal advice, or want me to share on any particular topics too.

Cheers to all.

A touch of Friendship

2007-08-25T12:52:00.000-07:00

Time to get away from love and romance for just this blog entry. =)

Friendship. Something that is simple yet hard to maintain at the same time.

I am the sort of person who will do anything for a friend, and one thing I am proud to say, is that I truly have friends around me who have extend a helping hand to me when I needed help, and shared the tears and laughters of my life.

Look around you, look at the people whom you call a friend. Are they truly your friends? Friendship last as long as how important both parties deem it is. It can be so strong for some, yet so fragile for others.

How to maintain a good friendship with a friend or friends that you truly appreciate and care for?

Frankly speaking, maintaining friendships and relationships, it is all pretty much the same, certain factors e.g. committment varies on how important the friend is to you.

Now the real problem lies in,
How to be a good friend? How to know if you are one?

When your friend meets with certain problems in life, although you might not be able to give him/her proper advices, it will be good to just be by him/her side to let him/her know that they are not alone. Not much people will be able to offer good advices on relationship/work-related problem, unless you are specifically a love coach or a consultant in some fields etc. Therefore it is highly not advisable to give advice to your friend if you are not strong in that field.

Being a good friend is simply being there for the person when he/she needs you. How much information you want to share between each other really depends on how close the two of you all are. So for this, I won't be able to say much, but trust is the main factor here. How much you are willing to share, is how much you trust a person. However, certain limitations comes especially when you two are colleagues or even direct competitors of each other.

Being a good friend requires you to be understanding. I always believe that anything and everything can be ironed out. Especially misunderstanding. A lot of friendships "broke" because of misunderstanding. It is because everyone always deem that friendship is nothing important, thus not putting in any effort to try to understand what went wrong, and to take the extra step to solve the problem.

Losing a friend is something really painful to me. However, it depends on how i lost the friend. If it is due to unforseen circumstances, or simply the friend refuse to explain to me why, I guess I will just let it go. No point pondering over it, especially if you know that the reason is going to be fake (which is usually very obvious).

I seriously urge everyone out there to review the friendships you have with your friends around you now. Keep your good friends closer to you, because these are the people who really cares for you. Make the extra effort to get to know them more (if you haven't), it really does helps to boost the friendship. =)

Remember, friendship is just as important as relationship, noone can live without a friend. =)

LYRICS of the HEART

2007-08-09T22:25:00.000-07:00

Dear readers,

I am back.. =) This entry is simple, but i know it can definitely relate to some.

Close your eyes and think of the one person who you love the most, the one person who was there with you, holding your hands, walking down the road of life, with a smile that totally melts your heart.

It doesn't matter whether the person is still with you, or has left you due to some misunderstanding or any more other reasons. Why you think of him/her, there will always be one special song.

Throughout my current relationship life, I can say that there is only one close to perfect guy I have been with, he is what i will call a soulmate. Someone who truly understands everything I am, my needs, my wants, even when i move a single inch when I am sleeping, he will know what I am dreaming off. Yes, he is that close to my heart, he became part of me.

The song that will always remind me of him:

"Chasing Cars" by "Snow Patrol"

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world

I don't quite know
How to say, how I feel
Those three words
'l say too much
But not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden
That's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden
That's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how is well
Just know that these things will never
Change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world

This song totally reminds me of my beautiful 2 years relationship with him. Till now, I still can't find the courage to get him back, because I know that I will not be able to give him what I will be promising him. So I wish him happiness, and hope that he can find someone better. Who knows what will happen in the future right? =)

Find that one special song that reminds you of the one person who was once or currently so close to you, that song will either make you cry because you feel the pain in your heart, or it will make you smile like me, because it once happen. The magical feeling of being in love.

Peace out people. =)

Huggies to all those who need a hug right now! =p

Finding youself (myself too!)

2007-07-26T23:19:00.001-07:00

Today's topic is about finding yourself.

I am sure that everyone of us here, has experienced what we called a "break-down" period. A state of which you just feel so tired, mentally and even physically and simply couldn't find the strength to move on. I am not perfect, and i do have my break-down periods.

This entry is more about myself, but i know that some people can actually relate to it.

I am juggling between two jobs, a full time job as a sales coordinator in a hotel and being a freelance model. I hardly have enough rest on weekdays due to the late night runway rehearsals and shows that I am doing on the second and third week of the month. Not to complain, I love and enjoy what I am doing as a runway model, because it has always been a childhood dream to walk up that stage just for that few minutes. The feeling is simply great.

However, lately, i came to a decision to quit my hotelier's job. Modelling is just a sub reason of why i quitted, but the main reason is, I am lost. Lost in the sea of never-ending work that I have been trying to battle ever since i started work at the hotel. After thinking everything through, I know that I am not cut out to be a hotelier, not because i can't, but i just didn't have the passion to.

After working in the hotel for 4 months, I realise that having passion in what you do is the top most important thing, if not you will never put your heart into it. I use to soar during the days when i was working as an event coordinator with my old company, but I felt that i have achieved nothing so far in my 4 months of service in my hotel line. Doesn't all these boils down to just one word, "passion". =)

Finding myself; This is very very important to me now, and it is also very crucial to all of you out there to know what you want, what you need, and who you really are, because only when you know who you are, you are able to define your goals in life, subsequently mapping out how you want to achieve your goals.

I am someone who wants to work for something I am passionate about, it is never about how much I am being paid, but how much I can really contribute to my job. I believe that if i really love my job, i will be able to excel in it. The same goes out to everyone of you. Afterall, although money might be a very big factor, happiness is what that keeps someone determined to stay alive. Obviously, if by earning lots of money brings you happiness, then i got nothing to say. =)

People, wish me luck after the 6 August 2007 where my service at the hotel will be terminated. and look forward to more updates which will be coming up real soon...

In the meanwhile, same thing once again, e-mail me at geturlifeback@gmail.com for any advice that you need... I am always here.. reply guaranteed in 24 hours and this service is 100% free. =p

Victim of "Love"

2007-07-13T00:24:00.003-07:00

Just a life experience that I wish to share with you readers. =)

This happened when I was secondary 2 going secondary 3, at that point of time, I was still naive and very ignorant. It was then, when i started with my first boyfriend. It took me a lot of courage to actually accept him, knowing the fact that we might not have a future together because of my strict family background, and him being someone who doesn't know what he wants in the future and bums around.

The first month of relationship was fine, just like any honeymoon period, it was pure puppy love.

However, after the first month, things started changing. He became very abusive, both physically and verbally. He never fails to find fault with me, to scold me or even beat me up for no reason. He threaten to break up with me for no reason on my birthday that year but time and time again, I refused to let go due to my "then" thinking about him being my first love and thought that things could actually change for the better. I was totally wrong, he just carried on with his "outrageous" behaviour towards me, hurling vulgarities, physical abuse, and making me feel that I was worthless. I became like his slave.

This went on for a period of 1 year 3 months when i took the first step out of this torturous relationship. I told myself that I had enough. With the support of my friends, I got out of the deep drowning hole and started to learn how to stand on my own, and say "No" to him. I started going out with my friends, and step by step, I slowly forget him although the scars that he left within me, still haunt me sometimes.

I know that, there are girls or maybe even guys out there who did or maybe still experiencing a abusive partner. Please remember one point, noone deserves to be treated badly by their partners UNLESS you are doing the same too. Nevertheless, if two person starts getting abusive with each other, there is absolutely no point in carrying on the particular relationship.

Noone is worthless, you know that you deserve someone better if your partner doesn't know how to treat you right. Learn how to stand up for youself and say "No, I had enough". If it's very difficult for you to do so, get your friends to help. It will definitely hurt in the beginning, knowing that you've already gave in alot just to hold on to the relationship but ultimately, it's your own happiness in hands.

Abuse cases varies... If anyone of you out there are experiencing abuse from your partners and needs help, drop me an e-mail. I will try my best to help you in whatever ways I can.

Victim of "

2007-07-13T00:24:00.001-07:00

Dealing with your Parents' Divorce

2007-07-02T20:21:00.001-07:00

The divorce rate in Singapore is seriously increasing. Apart from me talking about how two person should live their life together, how about coping with your own parents splitting up?

Well, I am sure that there are people who has either undergo such an issue in their family, or could even be going through it now.

Imagine late at night say 2am, you hear screamings and things breaking coming from your parents' room, sisters crying out of fear, and you simply feel so useless because in no way, you can actually interfere in your parents' matter. and the thunder comes striking down, "I want a divorce!"

Your heart sank... Tears just flow out of your eyes uncontrollably. You don't exactly seem to understand what has happened, and neither can you foresee what will be going to happen.

There is alot of consequences when a family split up, and the "parents" have to be able to handle the aftermath.

I will never blame my parents if they finally decide to get a divorce, because i really don't want to see both of them suffering anymore, particularly for my mom. I know my dad will be fine on his own, especially now that he has a proper job and is well-taken care of by his boss. The two person I am most worried about, my two younger sisters. They are still young, and they need both their parents by their side now that they are growing up. Besides, asking them to choose between my dad and mom will totally traumatise them. Life will never be the same after your parents split up, I know that my life will not be the same soon.

As the second eldest in the family, I can only say that the way to deal with the split up, is to stay strong. Set a good role model for your younger siblings as they will always be looking up to you, and going to you asking you why all these will happen. Be patient with your younger siblings as it can get quite frustrating as they won't be able to understand even if you explain to them.

Basically, it is really heart-breaking to see your parents splitting up, but always remember that, life goes on. You might not see one of them everyday, but at least, know that it is for the better. Always be there to guide along your younger siblings because they need you. I can never say the words, "Don't let it affect you so much" because it does affect, and it affects you on a big scale.

For me, I know that I will learn how to cope with it when that feaful day arrive.

Till then, if anyone out there needs help, please do just drop me an e-mail at geturlifeback@gmail.com

Peace.

Just for Laugh! =)

2007-06-25T00:44:00.000-07:00

This "article" below was adopted from one of my friend. He is those kind of happy-go-lucky person and seriously speaking, doesn't take relationship seriously. However, his blog entry below (quoted) kinda carry some meaning in it. If not, read it just for fun to lighten up whatever moody feelings you have. =) (Please do not get offended by the strong language. He's still a kid. )

Dude : I got dumped man.

Me : Uh, ok. Waddaya want me to do.

*silence*

Me : You want her back?

Dude : Yeah.

Me : Why?

Dude : I dunno.

Me : U're fuckin retarded.

*silence*

Me : Give me a good reason why you want her back. If you can I'll help ya out.

Dude : I dunno how to put it in words.

Me : U're still retarded. Just worse.

Dude : I dunno where to go, I wanna go down to where she and her friends are.

Me : What good will it do? Answer this question before you go down.

Dude : *silence*

Me : Why doncha come over and we'll see how we can help you. Its pretty obvious you're not gonna be scoring any points by going down.

Dude : Ok

*5 minutes later*

Dude : I'm going to find em.

Me : Look. Whether you want her or not, going down is downright retarded. Its a lose lose. If you want her back, going down shows how fuckin pathetic you are. If not, you're bloody wasting your time.

Dude : . . . . . . . . .

Me : I'm goin home.

*phone rings*

Dude : Lend me forty bucks man.

Me : Fuck off.

Yet another classic example of how not to handle a break up. Dumped or dump, its retarded to run right back to ur brand new ex just to show him/her how much you miss him/her. Reasons are already stated above. Why can't anyone ever understand this? If love is blind, then fuck love. A relationship is supposed to enhance one's life, not drag it into some deep abyss of pain, hurt, and degradedness. If it gets to the latter, please have some sense to kill it off?

Holding on due to the fact that its a long relationship is the sorriest reason for a relationship itself. Ask yourself why the r/s started, and what you felt. Sure, honeymoon period is called honeymoon period for a reason, but with a couple with some intelligence, it can be kept going. If not, by virtue of the fact that both parties in a r/s has at least some intelligence, they should have agreed to either a mutual break up or to sort out the problems and iron out the issues.

I hope Dude ain't dead yet. Somebody his age should have some common sense already. A r/s is not all rosy and well, else it wouldn't be termed one. But if things get so so so so so so so bad, fucking stop it?

I am such a wonderful person =)

How to handle "REJECTION" ?

2007-06-25T00:36:00.000-07:00

Talking about relationships and how to maintain relationships, suddenly something strike me. How about handling rejection? Something that comes before a relationship is form.

Unless you are a super charmer, even then i am sure that we do get rejected at least once right?

"Eh.. i like you... do ya think we should give each other a chance?"

"No.. let's just be friends..."

Suddenly Beethoven's famous music comes thundering in....

"DANG".

Your heart feels like it has been smashed into a million pieces. The sharp pain feels as though a spear has pierce straight into your heart.

One piece of advice that I have gave to one of my troubled reader, be glad that the person is frank enough to tell you that he/she doesn't like you. He/she is doing you a bigger favour to reject you then to lead you on. It is really less painful to get rejected then to get into a relationship and find out that things just simply can't work out.

Not to be religious, but God is fair. Everyone is created for someone, that someone special. That is why, I've always believe that there is someone out there who is specially made for you, and when the person is standing in front of you, you know it. =) Love cannot be forced upon someone, let it be natural, and you will feel that it is such a pleasant and sweet feeling. By forcing someone to love you, (which eventually you know it's impossible), the consequences will only be painful, ugly and just wrong?!?

What to do after a rejection?

Ya know, after you get rejected by someone you really fancy, move on. Not in the sense ofr moving on to find another guy/girl to instantly fall for the person and try to start a relationship with the person, but chill... =) Be confident enough to handle a rejection. You know that if you are really willing to give up alot of things and make the person you fancy the happiest person on earth, it's his/her loss, not yours, so don't cry/be depress over it. You gave it your best shot by trying to initiate something, but if it is simply not meant to be yours, it's just not yours. =)

Go out, find some friends and do the usuall "talk cock sing song" session, like what you have always done, you know the usuals? =) Don't let the rejection affect you so much. Why do you want to be stuck in the same spot after getting rejected? Make yourself feel better, go for a facial, pick up a sport, feel better inside and outside. Build up your confidence again, and who knows, maybe Mr./Ms. Right is just right around the corner.

Long Distance Relationships

2007-06-20T21:57:00.000-07:00

Can love withstand the tension of being apart for a long, long period of time?

I had been through a "long-distance relationship" before, noticed the word "had", it's past tense. I couldn't make pass it due to my weak determination.

My personal story:
I had feelings for him, although i can't really call it love, but it was a mutual feeling we had for each other. He was utimately sweet and caring towards me, and i know that he is a guy that will really take good care of me for the rest of my life. (don't ask me why, i just know it. =) ) Well, inevidently, he had to fly off to Brunei for NS despite my objections. I am just glad that he enjoyed his stay there.

We weren't together in status, although everyone thought that we were an item, we were never one although we did shared a special bond before.

What do i feel about Long-Distance Relationships?

First of all, i feel that it's cruel. I know the feeling of loving someone, wanting to be with someone, longing to spend time with someone... That someone special that you really want to share your life with and how torturous it is to be separated physically from the person. I do know that sometimes, the pain can be pretty overwhelming and tears will just flow out for no reasons even though you know that both of you still share that special love bond and are still madly in love with each other.

Will lack of communication destroy a relationship? It really really depends on the couple. I see some of my friends surviving long-term relationship like they have never been separated from each other before, and some of my other friends who dropped it like it has never existed before. The consequences is pretty much on two extreme end. Well, there can only be two consequences anyway, either you make it, or you break it.

Take a look within your heart, feel your heart and answer this question:
"Do you think that things will still be the same when your partner gets back? Will things get better? or will you feel that the gap is too far apart it's difficult to carry on?"

Most likely, I am sorry to say this, but things will never be the same. The world is revolving every single day, happenings in our life alter the way we behave abit by abit and trust me, when you see your partner again, you will notice a very very big change because you two have been apart for a very long time.

HOWEVER... (before you readers feel that I am being so negative about long distance relationship)

Appearance can change, personality can change, perspective towards things can change, everything can change, but... the love? the burning flame that has been surviving through the cold cold period of being apart? If what you two are experiencing is what i call "the love of your life", even if the sky becomes the sea, everything changed around you two, your love for each other will still remain the same. I call this the highest level of love. The love that nothing can change nor break. Love is blind. =)

How to survive a long-distance relationship?

***Please do not become a psycho and talk to the mirror everyday and pretend that you are talking to your other half and go mad okay? This is highly not advisable. PLEASE. =)

From my previous posts, mutual understanding, committment, trust, etc. all these comes into place during a long distance relationship. From what I've seen so far, not alot of couples can make it through a long-distance relationship. Well, i will say, although all the "love factors" are crucial during this point of time, the most most most important thing of all, the king factor is "belief". Believe in yourself, believe in him/her, believe in the love that both of you share, and last of all, believe that both of you will pull it through this period of "separation".

Believing in something isn't easy, but it ain't difficult as well. This analogy actually applies to all aspects of life not even in relationships, but in work as well. You got to believe and you must believe if you really want it bad enough.

For this, i wish someone all the best. You know who you are. Hugz.

For anything, and i really mean anything even from the most basic problems/trouble that you readers are facing, just drop me an e-mail @ geturlifeback@gmail.com .

"Possessive-ness"

2007-06-18T19:49:00.000-07:00

I once used to feel that possessive-ness is a good and positive trait that i would like my partner to possess. Why do i feel so? Because i feel that when my boyfriend is really possessive over me, it means that he truly love me, cares for me and is afraid of losing me. Ya know it's so true that some people can really live with a very possessive person in their life because of the reason i gave for myself, but of course, i've changed this mentality of mine. (I am not saying it's bad, but I will be giving my reasons on why i feel that it's bad for me. =) )

First of all, i am going to touch on two major factors that must be found in a relationship, mutual understanding and commitment, then again, everybody have different ways of seeing mutual understanding and the very big word, "commitment".

I shall start with mutual understanding first. =)

Mutual Understanding between two person is important, yes. It simply means being accommodating to each other in a relationship, knowing what the other person is going through in his/her life, and being there to support all the decisions he/she made. Easy? I am afraid that as much as this is common sense, alot of couples are unable to reach the stage of complete mutual understanding between each other, because noone is perfect. Everyone has some selfishness within him/herself. Being in a relationship, who doesn't want his/her partner to be attentive to him/her? Unless you are taking it as a fling and doesn't wish your partner to keep paying attention to you so you can double time him/her with another person. Anyone, and i really mean anyone who is in a serious relationship, will want lotsa of love and concern from his/her partner, because this is the reason why we need a partner, we need it for companionship, for someone to take care of us when we are going through some real rough times, and we hate to be alone.

How to achieve mutual understanding?
First of all, i know this might sound stupid, but, if two person are not meant to be together, it is gonna be real hard achieving mutual understanding. In order to really acheive it, you really got to know what your partner is doing, how he/she does things, how he/she reacts to certain things and how he/she live his/her life. =) Sounds confusing? Well, let's say put it in this way, try putting yourself in your partner shoes for one day, understand and live his/her life for one day, accept and digest it. This will help in achieving mutual understanding by alot. The rest of it is really up to the couple on how they want to work things out and it works on a case by case basis so yup, unless a couple is going to quote a specific problem they are facing in, there is nothing much i can really cover on this. =)

How about commitment?
Same thing again, different people got different levels of commitment and how they perceive commitment in a relationship.
Do you consider someone who is very faithful in a relationship but doesn't want to settle down in a marriage committed?
What is your own opinion of the word commitment?
How about a person who does not cheat on his/her partner but refuse to commit anything?
Well, to me being committed in a relationship is not a very easy task. Staying committed in a relationship requires alot of effort and well, put it simply, it is really up to the mentality and mindset of the person. Usually, only those who really wants to settle down as in marriage, will talk about commitment.
Well, like what i say, there are different levels of commitment, basic commitment in a relationship simply means not cheating on your partner, and staying focus and putting in effort into the relationship to ensure that everything goes smoothly. Marriage commitment is a totally different entity altogether (and so i will talk about it in another entry.)

And so back to possessive-ness, if two person actually achieve mutual understanding and commitment in a relationship, why should anyone be possessive?
Ponder over this.. Possessive-ness = Selfishness, don't let someone control you, be in control, only then you will know that you are really in love. =)

Empty Promises Part 2

2007-06-11T21:14:00.001-07:00

Time to share my personal views after 4 years of breaking up with him. =)

I am seriously grateful to him for choosing to leave me at that point of time when I was hospitalised, despite the fact that he was being all so cruel by not even visiting me etc. That was the time when he can really leave me without me chasing him and stalking him everywhere. It made me alot stronger, and made me realise that I was not being myself anymore, I didn't even have a life of my own anymore.

The empty promises? Well, can't really blame him on that. Whenever we are in a relationship, we will always say things that I will love you forever / I will never leave you etc. Can you actually consider this promises? In some sense yes, but not totally a promise. These words are uttered because of the strong emotions felt at that point of time. Feelings and emotions are something that does't last forever (for your information, it really doesn't). That is why in a relationship, constant efforts to create sparks is so important, because feelings and emotions doesn't last. You got to keep working to re-ignite the flame or else it will just die away.

A piece of advice: Never hold someone to blame for empty promises such as "I will never ever leave you", because if the person really does, something wrong happened along the way that causes it to happen. Maybe the flame didn't have enough oxygen to carry on burning.

Noone knows what the future beholds, the one that might seem to be so right or even so perfect now might not eventually be the one who will be putting in the constant effort to make sure that the love does't die.

I will like to take this chance here to say a big thank you to the guy who made me stronger by leaving me 4 years ago. We are pretty good friends now and it made me realise that I was being such a fool 4 years back. =)

Peace out V.V

Wishing on the same star...

2007-06-09T21:09:00.000-07:00

To those heart-broken peeps out there at this point of time.. Don't mind listen to this song, =) Cry if you need to.I might be setting up a mini hotline soon so that anyone who needs advice urgently can call me. =) Meanwhile, close your eyes, and listen to this song...

Wishing on the same Star

It's so hard to leave you
I don't really wanna go
I don't wanna say goodbye to you
It's the last thing I wanna do
But I won't be sad now
Cause 'til you're in my arms again
You'll be inside of my heart
And wherever I go
We'll never really be apart

We'll be wishing on the same star
Looking at the same moon
When you're thinking of me, baby
I'll be thinking of you
And no matter where I go
I will be there with you
Wishing on the same star
Looking at the same moon

It's not really over
Baby, it will never be
Long as you keep me in your heart
I'll be there anywhere you are
And when you feel sad
Remember all the love we shared
And when you're feeling alone
Well, just look up in the sky
Oh, and baby, so will I

We'll be wishing on the same star
Looking at the same moon
When you're thinking of me, baby
I'll be thinking of you
And no matter where I go
I will be there with you
Wishing on the same star
Looking at the same moon

No matter where you turn around
It's the same sun that keeps shining down
Wherever we'll be, I know that we'll be
Wishing on the same star

We'll be wishing on the same star
Looking at the same moon
When you're thinking of me, baby
I'll be thinking of you
And no matter where I go
I will be there with you
Wishing on the same star
Looking at the same moon

Empty Promises...

2007-06-09T20:01:00.000-07:00

"I promise that I will never leave your side, I will be with you forever, I love you forever..."

Familiar?

Well, if these promises are kept, I am sure that the world will be a much better place. How many times have someone made these promises to you? or how many times have you made these promises to someone and broke them?

Relating to one real life encounter:

I was very much in love with him. Our relationship started on the wrong foot as I was in a relationship with another guy. He started being a brother to me, but soon after, I saw something in him that really attracts me, his sincerity and efforts touched me.

To touch on this point, I was being unfaithful to my boyfriend then yes, but my boyfriend then didn't exactly love me, it was pretty much of he's lonely and just needed someone. It was a pretty loveless relationship. =) Will be explaining more about this in another entry... let's get back to my current one.

When I broke off with my boyfriend then, it was an immediate switch of boyfriend. No breaks in between, no resting time. Although my relationship with my "ex" was loveless, it just kinda hurts afterall it was an break-up. (Relationship lifespan: 2 months) And i was very very young, so i coped with my breakup spending more and more time with him who became my boyfriend. Crying in his arms, and him trying his very best to make me happy, and to forget my "ex" then.

*I know that this above scenario has happened to alot of you out there too, using someone to forget another person. This way is the fastest way to forgot someone, but if you do it often enough, you will start losing control of yourself, so please forget someone the healthy way. =)

Back to story, soon enough, i forgot my "ex" then and everything else with him was simply wonderful. I felt that I was really being loved, being taken care of. All the promises of "I will be loving you forever"... I ate every single lovey-dovey words that he feed me with. Basically i was in the stage that i can practically eat off his fingers. I was so much into him, too into him. (very very unhealthy...)

And so enough, I was totally dependent on him, I had no life at all. Bascically my life revolved around him. Day in day out, I only wanted to see him, talk to him and do everything with him. In the end, he wanted to break up with me, but i held on, i became his toy. He called me back whenever he wants, and threw me away whenever he doesn't "want" me.

The cycle carried on until I met with an accident that caused me to be disfigured (I am fine now.. =) ) and he totally left me from then on. He didn't even come to the hospital to visit me, or offered me any words of concern, he simply just couldn't be bothered.

At this point of time, i would like to ask you readers, whose fault was it that caused this relationship to end this way?

Was it mine? or his?

He ended the relationship telling me that there wasn't what we called true love at all for the past 1 year we had been together. It was just a bit of liking here and there, and he didn't love me. Empty promises... Why say them when you can't keep them?

Well, I will really appreciate some response from my question above.. so keep them flowing! I will give you my answer the next entry.

Till then, feel free to drop me a mail anytime regarding anything!

Peace out!

WARM heart turns COLD

2007-06-05T07:05:00.000-07:00

Have you people out there ever wonder whether a person filled with love and energy, can ever turn cold and heartless? Well, sometimes, some things in life will cause a person to change.

One of the major happenings that will cause a person to change drastically will be the loss of someone dear, and very precious to him/her. This happened to me. Someone asked me, whether i have found true love and happiness in my life, I had. Why the past tense? Cos i lost him, due to my wilfulness, due to me losing faith in something that i once truly believed in. Not going to blame it on anyone, because it will only be a vicious cycle, it's my fault.

Well, when a person turn cold and heartless, trust me 100%, it's only on the surface. The toughest person on earth, does have a soft spot in his/her heart. Tell me you people out there, those who proclaim that they have never shed a single tear for anyone or anything, are you sure? Not even a single tear? I bet not.

Always remember, even if you are to be tough, be tough in scenarios when you need to, but do let yourself loose during your free/leisure time, be it whether you are alone, or with someone you can confide in. By cooping everything up in your heart, you will eventually break down, it is only a matter of time. really. =)

Reasons why someone can appear cold and heartless to someone or anyone? Because he/she feel that by appearing cold and heartless, noone will come and hurt them, and they simply feel that they don't want anyone to sympathise with them. If you are doing so, please, by not allowing others to hurt you by appearing cold and heartless, you are actually hurting yourself, and brushing people who truly care about you away. It's okay to let loose once in a while, it's okay to cry, okay to confide in someone you trust.

With this, i shall end this short entry on a short note,

if you are feeling cold, feeling numb, start by loving yourself, treating yourself better, don't cast yourself away from this world, because although reality is harsh, this is really still a beautiful world, filled with wonderful things for you to look forward to.

A virtual hug for those who need it most now... HUGGzzzzz!! =)

Once again, feel free to drop me an e-mail if you need any personal advice @ geturlifeback@gmail.com

Peace out. V.V

Coping with "PAIN"

2007-06-02T23:27:00.000-07:00

Remember the times when you just fallen from a relationship that almost seems so perfect and it is so painful to let go? Now in this entry, I am going to share with you all, how to cope with the pain of letting go, letting go of the love that once occupied your heart, your world and made you the happiest person alive for that moment. =)

GULB 1st step:
Listen to all the sad songs, all the happy songs that make you think of him/her, cry your heart out. Let all the past memories flash through your mind, remember all the good and the bad, but concentrate on the good of course, because, noone in this world deserve to be hated, nor disliked, especially if the person once truly love / loved you before.

GULB 2nd step:
Go through everything that he/she has ever gve you. The couple ring, the pictures you two took together, flowers (that are already all dried up), all the movie tickets, restaurant bills, and etc. (I seriously don't think that all these things can be digged out of every corner of your room though. =) After putting everything together, keep them in a box that is big enough to store everything. Chuck it in one corner of your house, or if you can, "burn them". Usually i will just keep them in a box and store it somewhere, because all those were good memories.

GULB 3rd step:
After crying almost your entire heart out, this step is crucial, call your best friends out. Friends that understand what you are going through, friends that know not to mention anything unhappy to you when you are out with them. Go out and have fun, eat and shop with your friends, go cycling, swimming, anything to get your mind off all the unhappy things.

GULB 4th step:
Just get back to your normal life, don't "hen ta ka ki" (marching on the spot if you don't understand this command), because the world will not stop revolving around the solar system just for you, the sky will still change from blue to black, black to blue and there will still be waves in the sea. =) (my fav. phrase)

Remember, never get into a rebound relationship, cause that will only screw up your life so badly you can't get out of the black hole you are digging for yourself. =)

If anyone of you readers out there got a personal problem you wish to share, just drop me a mail @ geturlifeback@gmail.com. Guarantee reply in 24hrs @ no charge. =)

Peace out. V.V

Searching for the "PERFECT".

2007-06-02T10:38:00.000-07:00

Hands up for those who are single and searching/waiting for the "perfect" guy/girl to appear / or maybe those who are already in a relationship, trying to change their partner into their so-called "perfect" person for them.

With all the hands up, I am going to one by one twist every single one of them, and force you guys/girls out into reality.

"PERFECT DOESN"T EXIST!!!!"
(unless you go it with the saying of "love is blind"... =) )

Ya know i always believe in my philosophy,

"Be together with someone you can live with, not someone you can't live without."

Next question i can predict from my readers, why???

Think about it this way, if you are together with someone you can't live without, which i feel is utter rubbish because EVERYONE CAN LIVE WITHOUT SOMEONE!!! But okok, let's assume that you really can't live without, won't you be like so dependent on the person, like you can breathe without the person, you will grow to be like the person, and soon, you will be wanting to hear his/her voice every single sec of the day. one word to bind everything up, "TIRING!!!"

Everyone deserve their own time and space, a partner is a enhancement. Meant to enhance your life, make it better, make it more colourful, but not to step into you and breathe the same air and share the same space.. That personal space I am refering to of course.

Why choose someone you can live with? Answer is very very simple, look at the high divorce rate in everywhere not only Singapore now, the couple simply can't live with each other. This is why, i highly encourage co-habitating before you decide to announce to everybody that the two of you are going to spend the rest of your life together sharing the same name; Marriage. =)

Give up the fairytale thinking, because fairytale will always remain as something in the far far away land, and not here, not in reality.

I guess that what I've mentioned above is pretty negative, so here is something positive:

There is always someone out there for you, don't have to search for it, because when the time is right, the person will appear. =)

We LOVE the BAD!

2007-05-31T21:19:00.001-07:00

I know this one man, who has never asked for anything in return for everything he has done for his friends, and that includes me.

I can foresee the first reaction from majority of you:

"this kind of man extinct already la..."

Be surprised, very surprise that in this harsh world we are living in, there are still nice people around, from both gender. People who are kind-hearted, and really really concern about people whom they regards as "friends".

This guy neither have looks nor money, but his heart is made of gold. He was there 24/7.. i mean literally 24/7, he was really there. However, I was never his girlfriend, and that doesn't even matter to him, because he will still be so concerned about me, and tries his very best to be there for me. *Touched*

Remember the saying, "good guys always finish last". I feel that this saying is really really very true, because till today, after knowing this guy for 5 years, he is still single. (He needs a real good girl to take care of him, any takers? =p j/k!)

WHY???!!!???

"Nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai!"

This saying might be true for some people, might be rubbish to some people too. Why do i stand on the fact that we (majority) love the bad? Just thinking about this fact: We cried and struggle, feel pain whenever we are in a relationship that causes us so much agony, when our partner is treating us so badly, and we still hold on, as though he/she is the last man/lady left on this big round Earth. BUT when we are in a lovely relationship, we tend to take our partner for granted (please don't deny this fact.. I am sure you people out there should be guilty of this act at least once!!!).

Of course I am not killing every single one of you out there with this sweeping statement, I know that we do appreciate the efforts that our partners have put in for us too. =)

At this point of us, I urge my readers who are attached to close your eyes, and think about the relationship you are having now, do not hold on just for the sake of holding on. If your partner is not treating you the way you should be treated, he/she is not worth it. Repeat this in your head for a few times, not worth it, not worth it and still not worth it. =)

BUT if you feel that your partner deserve someone better than you (which shouldn't be that way at all, wrong mentality!), go do something about it, and don't ever let me find out that you've dropped your partner for some lame excuses such as he/she deserve someone better, DO something about it then. Be that someone deserving of his/her love. =)

I wish all couples here, good love. =)

Don't love the bad, love the good, for only then, you will be good. =)

First Heart Break...

2007-05-29T09:21:00.000-07:00

The first time anyone fall in love, I bet the feeling must be great. First time knowing that you are being loved, being cared for. Showing affections for each other, late night phone calls, wonderful dates, whispering sweet-nothings. Close your eyes, imagine the first time you fall so deeply in love with someone, you thought it was going to last forever. The long kisses, the tight hugs and the different versions of "I love you", when the nights doesn't seems lonely anymore.

All of a sudden...

"I am sorry, but I feel that we can't go on..."

"Why?"

"I found someone new/I need to concentrate on my studies/work/We just can't work things out/I don't love you anymore/I am a bad lover/I don't deserve you/ and etc. the list can go on forever..."

Feel the heart break, feel the pain that you felt at that instant. The whole world just seems crumpling down, you lost all strength, you lost the pillar, you lost all the care and affection that you thought was going to last forever. Tears welling up in your eyes, before you know it, the sky starts pouring, everything turns dark. You are totally lost, totally confused, totally crushed.

Guess what I did?

I listened to the song "How do I live" and drank dettol. I felt like dying, I felt that I was made used of, felt so inferior, so lousy that I wish that I can just end my life there and then. Landed up in the hospital of course, and suffered the consequences of my first silly act. Forced to drink bottle after bottle of plain water, and vomitting it all out afterwards. Escaped a police case as I was underaged and the officer decided to give me another chance.

I went home that night, hugged my bolster and cried myself to sleep. It was a relationship, a puppy love that lasted 1 year 3 months, and it was gone with the wind, never to come back again. (I will never want it back again... )

Advice for the depressed who is in the same situation as the above:
Please please please don't try dettol. It doesn't help to kill you, but it just makes you miserable. Ya know drinking what kills you? detergent. =) But NO.. I am not encouraging anyone to commit sucide by drinking detergent. Always remember, puppy love never last, maybe some do, but most of the time, it is really just child's play. After getting over it, you will realise that, it might just be a joke, or some cute memories to keep and smile about.

Puppy love will always be sweet, it can be a disaster or a fairytale. Remember that you are the only one in charge of your life, people can tell you what to do, but ultimately, you make the decision, it's your choice. My choice is to get over it.. and move on.. =)

Someone gave me a very valuable advice during that period of time:
You can stay in the exact same spot for years, just stand there... but the sky will still be blue, the sea will still have waves, and the Earth will still be revolving around... Everyone will move on.. and you can stay behind, all by yourself.

Get your life back. =)

Get ur Life Back!

2007-05-29T08:48:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Get ur Life Back~!!! short-form known as GULB. =)

Well well, this little blog will be based on true personal stories, whether it belongs to me or the people around me, offer solutions on how you readers can actually relate back to your own personal life and learn how to manage all the problems/troubles/worries that causes depression, or clinically known as major depressive disorder.

A small introduction about myself, I have been through I guess the worst stage of my life as a young growing adult, committed sucides numerous times that I will be including in my stories later on, learnt how to cope with my depression problems, and most important of all, getting my life back.

Maybe some of you viewing my blog now might be thinking, so this author here thinks that she knows how to cope with life? Or is she just trying to be a smart alec, talking about just pure common sense? Please ponder on this, when someone is caught in the depression web, common sense just seems to float so far away, or they simply chose to "listen to their hearts" and ignore it all together.

Carry on reading, I am sure that maybe some of you will really gain something from reading my entries, or simply just derive laughters and enjoyment from doing so.

Stay tuned people, I promise it won't be disappointing... *at least to majority. =)